The Atrocious Music Collection: #24 in a series
Artists: various
Album Title: Incorrect MusicTM: WFMU 1998 Marathon Premium
Category: CompilationYear: 1998 (songs from various years)
Cover art style: Radio-fundraiser-premium Utilitarian
Audio samples:
- Morning Train
Click on picture for full-sized image
I’ve paid my respects to Irwin Chusid in an earlier entry, but it is important to note again that he is the spiritual Godfather of my Atrocious Music Collection. The Incorrect Music radio show ran on New Jersey’s WFMU from 1997 to 2002, but that show is part of a semi-continuum of programs Irwin hosted on WFMU over decades. He and co-host Boulé defined the Incorrect Music show as a “misguided tour of musical outsiders, bumbling celebs, no-hopers, corporate anthems, pop-eyed zealotry, uber-patriots, insufferable kids, Third-Eye Lounge crooners, and a whole range of Frankentunes.” That sums up a lot about the Collection as well.
Keep in mind, the Incorrect Music Show existed many years after the Atrocious Music party itself, and the cassette tape discussed here (Incorrect Music 1998 Marathon, a premium gift for donors to the non-commercial station) was a late acquisition for the collection. However, all of the music on the tape (likely) comes from earlier decades.
The range on this tape is breathtaking. As Stefan might say, “Yes, yes, yes. This tape has everything: a drunk Don Ho, a novelty song about a bathing suit sung in an unknown language, vibrators, the Oldfield Middle School Jazz Band.”
It also has another song-poem, the patriotic USA, My Land, My Country, which I was hoping would be the rebuttal to Woody Guthrie’s This Land is Your Land. The reality is much more banal. The title occurs frequently, and nearly all of the other lyrics come from other patriotic sources, like JFK’s “ask not” speech and the National Anthem (“home of the brave and free”).
As usual, we don’t actually know who wrote (or "compiled") the lyrics to USA, My Land, My Country, unless someone can find a copy of the album it appears on, New Favorites of Kay Weaver. I don’t think Kay gave a rat's ass about these songs, so I really doubt they were her favorites, new or old, nor were the ones of her other album released by the same “label,” The Now Sounds of Today. And the USA, My Land, My Country lyrics may have been set to a tune already lying around, waiting to be used, because the setting is a poor match for these words - or these syllables, frankly. The tune leaps around a lot, and speeds up at odd times, creating lines like “Red, white and blueUSA.”
Elsewhere on Incorrect Music are two songs which include spoken explanations prior to the song proper. I’ll make a general statement here: if you have to explain your song ahead of time, it is not a good song. There could be exceptions, but I’m willing to go out on this limb.
Apple Love by Paul “Super Apple” Moralia, is an artifact which is difficult to believe actually came down to us through the ages (it dates from the Reganozoic period). It’s also more than a bit sad, unless Schadenfreude is your thing. Paul “Super Apple” apparently got this tape to Stones guitarist Keith Richards, who is the person he addresses his rambling preamble to. He praises Keith, tells poorly explained side-stories about things like the time they almost met, sets up the songs on the tape (which are emphatically copyrighted by Paul “Super Apple” Moralia), and explains why he is called “Super Apple” (which is emphatically trademarked). Actually, I’m not really sure he ever explains the “Super Apple” thing, but he definitely says the name is trademarked.
Apparently, the tape was copied and made its way around the scene, similar to the original Jerky Boys prank calls tape. The one song on the Incorrect Music cassette is, presumably, Moralia’s signature song, Apple Love. The arrangement is simple – it appears to be only Moralia on guitar here – and the use of echo effect is… hmmm….let’s call it “extremely generous.” There are at least two chords, and a repeated hook, but it’s not a song I’d call McCartney-esque (as Moralia claims some say about his music in the introduction), but who am I to judge? McCartney did write Spirits of Ancient Egypt, after all.
I will point out one “Super Apple” innovation: the insertion of the copyright notice directly into the body of the song. (This is in addition to the notice in the spoken intro.) This is revolutionary and, pre-internet, downright prescient. How could anyone claim not to know if the music they are illegally posting is copyrighted if the copyright is embedded in the song lyrics? Genius.
The other song on Incorrect Music with a verbal intro is the Luie Luie instrumental dance song El Touchy. Classic dance songs like The Twist tell you how to do the dance in the song itself. Luie Luie goes one better by explaining the dance before the song. By talking. Because when you hit the dance floor, hearing someone talking about the music instead of playing it is exactly what you want.
And, what an explanation! The Touchy is all about touching. That’s pretty much it. You can touch however you like, unlike all those other dances where there’s no touching. And yes, I wrote The Touchy, and not El Touchy, because that is what Luie consistently calls it in the introduction. And to put the cherry on top, Luie returns at the end of the song to tell us the dance is over. At some point, why bother with the music?
Other lowlights include Y. Bhekhirt’s Hot in the Airport, a song which makes about as much sense as the title. Y. Bhekhirst is known to Wikipedia, so he is not completely off-the-grid, and you can read his bizarre story there if you wish. It seems Y. Bhekhirst is a cover for someone else, but as Y. Bhekhirst, he only released one record (actually, it was a cassette, also called Hot in the Airport) in 1986 on a label that released no other records. There’s also an Irwin connection, as it was Irwin who “reported that a man calling himself Y. Bhekhirst was distributing his cassettes in New York record stores; handing them over to the clerks and then walking out abruptly without further explanation.” The story is more entertaining than the song, IMHO.
I can’t go through everything on this cassette, but
- Baby, Your Love’s in Town by “Dusty Roads” Rowe comes from a 1973 album with a title worth mentioning: [“Dusty Roads” Rowe] Always Raring To Go/ Hope you will enjoy this album as he travels to and fro.
- Ivo Arauijo’s rendition of Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini (which comes out as something like Michy Mishy Peeny Weeny Yellow Cocobot Chakini when he sings it) is in no language I know, which makes it kind of fun. It reminds me of certain Muppet characters like the Martians who don’t quite speak a known language but manage to convey meaning all the same.
- And the Oldfield Middle School Jazz Band actually does a pretty good job on Steely Dan’s Deacon Blues considering they are exactly what they say they are: a middle school jazz band.
However, I must mention my personal favorite song on the cassette, which is the first track. This rendering of the super-cheerful Morning Train (“My baby takes the morning train…”) is sung by Freda Moss, who is not in Wikipedia, and lies beyond the ken of even the mighty Google. I could go on and on about this track, but will step aside and just let the art speak for itself, except to say: this recording is Freda Moss’ fourth take. What I wouldn’t give to hear takes 1, 2 and 3.